At first, I thought I did not really hear what my mother-in-law said. So, I asked her to repeat her instruction. I became really scared when she repeated herself and said her son was exactly like his father and that I would not be able to soften his heart towards me unless I went spiritual, or should I say diabolical? I was lost on the phone and did not even know when my mobile phone dropped from my hand.
Then she called again and started narrating how she had washed her own menstrual fluid into her late husband’s food when it appeared that he no longer wanted to see her. She said, but for her mother, who showed her the way, she would not have been the only one who had children for him.
She narrated how her husband had been so wicked to her, right from the very day she stepped into their family, and that to worsen matters, his relatives, particularly her mother-in-law, had also been very hostile. She said I was lucky, on my part, that she, my mother-in-law, and her other children, were solidly behind me.
For three months, I refused to cry; I only prayed and sang out loud. I bought new cosmetics and went back to my old happy self. I had two things in mind – if the marriage would work, fine, if it won’t, I should not be caught dead
She pointed out that if I was that sad, with the situation at hand, I would have died if I were to be in her shoes. She told me that after she had done what she said I should do to my husband to her late husband, and she followed it strictly with all the things she was told to do, she and her husband became inseparable. She also went on to say that all the family members, who were initially conniving with him to make her miserable, became his enemies; only those who did not complain about her were his friends.
I really could not understand why she was telling me all that since my husband was her biological son. She said I could eat out of the food I cooked with the fluid, that it would not have any effect on me, but that I should not allow my baby to taste out of it. She added that after I had done that first stage, she would tell me what to do next, and that I would never have the cause to complain again.
She claimed that she was doing all that because she really liked me as a daughter-in-law and would not want any evil lady to take over the house from me. She said she knew her family history and was in a position to guide me.
For days, after this scary discussion, I could not concentrate on anything. I tried hard to keep it to myself, but I was almost going crazy with the burden. In between, my mother-in-law was on my neck, asking me, day after day, whether I had done what she said I should do. But she had a way of getting information about the family because she had a reliable informant in my nanny.
The situation at home had not changed, but there was relative peace around that time because my husband went for a short course in South Africa.
One day, when I could not bear it any longer, I took permission to go and see my mother. I had called my husband to tell him that she took ill. This was just a day before my husband was supposed to return. I had to confide in my mother because I was on the verge of doing what my mother-in-law asked me to do.
When my mother heard what I had to say, she shouted “abiyamo aiye oooo”, meaning “mothers on earth”. Then she started crying as she was beating her breasts. I had never seen my mother in that form before. She could not stop screaming as she asked me to confide in her that I had not done it. Then she asked if I had ever seen her add anything other than salt and maggi to my father’s food. She also started investigating whether my mother-in-law was the biological mother of my husband. I told her that she was; after all, we all grew up together.
After a while, she settled down, and begged me in the name of God not to do what my mother-in-law said I should do. She said she would keep on praying for me, and that if God had other plans for me, we would know with time. She said we should rely on no one but God to fight the battle, and that victory would be ours at the end of the day.
When my husband came back the next day, the atmosphere became hot again, but I had determined, through my mother’s counselling, that I would bear whatever he did and put all my trust in almighty God. I became happier, even at work, and everyone noticed. But this infuriated my husband the more, and he looked for more painful things to do to me. But I did not allow it to affect me. The nanny was also surprised at my change in attitude.
There was even a day he locked me out the whole night, and I quietly came in early in the morning, when the nanny opened the door, had my bath, fed my baby and went to work. I did not stop talking to him in a loving way even when he answered rudely and with so much anger.
For three months, I refused to cry; I only prayed and sang out loud. I bought new cosmetics and went back to my old happy self. I had two things in mind – if the marriage would work, fine, if it won’t, I should not be caught dead. But I would do everything in my power to ensure it worked.
Like a miracle, after one year of not allowing the hot atmosphere kill me, my husband began to change. He would crack jokes and call me to come and watch an interesting show on TV. It was like I was dreaming. I kept on praying and fasting; and things kept on improving. But I did not go beyond my boundary.
Then my mother-in-law visited Nigeria, unannounced…
To be continued
