Last week, we continued the story of a lady, who stayed for long in what appeared to be a good relationship with her first love, but decided to call it quits when friends and family members were waiting for the wedding bells because she was sure that, for her, the relationship had been all about pity. This week, the story of her sojourn in the home she built with the man she eventually married continues.
I continued with my fasting and prayer and resolved to fight to keep my marriage. I tried as usual to ensure that I gave my mother-in-law all the love that I had for my own mother. I always told people at the time, that if she did not give birth to her son, I would not have been married to him.
But my nice gestures did not solve the problem. In fact, there was a day my nanny called me into the kitchen when I came back from work and told me to move closer to my mother, so that my family members could pray for me. She said my mother-in-law was not the kind of person I thought she was, adding that, if I allowed her, she would tell me all that transpired when I was not at home. But, like my usual self, I told her to keep quiet; that I would not allow anyone to come in between us. I told my nanny that we were a big happy family and I would not want the devil to creep in through her. I said this to discourage her from spreading whatever she had to say. I was wrapping up my talk, when my mother-in-law who had been eavesdropping, opened the door. She started cursing the woman and turned to me, saying she now believed that I was from a very good home.
My nanny did not sleep in our house that day. She packed her things and told me that she had to leave. But before going, she prayed to God to open my eyes so that nothing bad would happen to me. Then she started crying, saying all she did was for myown good because I had taken care of her and her family as if we were blood relations.
I knew she had a point, and that she knew something that I did not know, but I didn’t want to encourage her. That night, I dreamt that I was on my matrimonial bed, and my mother-inlaw came in from her own room and asked me to get up. In the dream, I told her that she had missed her room and pointed to the door. But she dragged me off the bed onto the floor. The fall was so painful that I shouted and woke up.
The next day, my husband moved out of the bedroom and started sleeping on the rug in the living room. I brought this to the attention of his mother, who promised to talk to him to change. But things got worse even as we (the children, myself and prayer partners) intensified prayers to rescue my husband from what we perceived
as spiritual bondage.
Two months after I lost the pregnancy, or should I say unborn baby, I started noticing some strange things. My mother-in-law would come to knock at our door at about 1am. She would call her son’s name and ask him to come out. Then he would return to the room at abut 3am. Initially, I did not talk, but when it persisted, I asked my husband why his mother always asked him to come out at that time of the night. His response was that he was helping her to apply something on her body, which only her son could do for her; he said it was a spiritual thing because of some strange dreams she (his mother) had been having.
Not long after this started, my husband packed out of our room and started sleeping permanently in the living room. Later, he drove my new nanny out of her room and moved in there.
About two months after, I travelled out of the country from work. I tried to call home, but could not reach them. So, I begged one of my friends to please go to our house so that I could talk to my children on her phone. On getting there, my nanny explained to her that whenever I called, my mother-in-law would tell her to remove the cable at the back of the landline so that I would not be able to connect. My friend was surprised that my relationship with my mother-in-law was bad because I had always spoken so well of her. But I still tried to cover up. When I got back to Nigeria, I went,straight from the airport to my husband’s office. I waited till he was a bit free and knelt down to find out what the problem really was. He did not allow me to talk; he just started begging me that he did not know what had come over him. After work, we drove home together. Immediately my mother-in-law noticed that we were talking to each other again, she became obviously angry. We were in the room, trying to catch up with our lost fun, when she started calling him frantically on phone. My husband would look at the phone beside him and put it back once he saw she was the one. But she kept on disturbing until he stood up, wore his clothes and left for his mother’s room.
After about 30 minutes of waiting endlessly for him to come back, I also went to the children’s room. He stayed in his mother’s room for close to three hours, and when he came out, he started behaving as if we had been quarrelling for ages.
I greeted him the next day, but he refused to answer. Then I left for work (His mother had left for the village early that morning). On my return, late in the evening, I found out that he had packed his things and left. I asked the children and my nanny where he had
gone to; they said he came to pack his things with a commercial vehicle, but did not tell them where he was going.
I made attempts to find out where he was, but the efforts yielded no result. It was like a movie because nothing at all had happened between us to warrant his leaving the house. I took some people along with me to beg my mother-in-law, to plead with her to wade into the problem, but our plea fell on the wrong ear.
It’s been 10 years now since he left home without contributing a dime to the upkeep of his children; but we (the children and I) have continued to pray for him. His mother has told all sorts of lies against me; he has also said unthinkable things about why we parted even though God almighty knows that nothing happened between us.
Sometimes I wonder why it takes long for God to strike evil doers; but then, I look back at my achievements in the last 10 years and say, I thank you Lord. Readers, if this kind of man shows up today and says he wants to continue where he stopped, would you give him a chance?