Friday, March 29, 2024

Marriage by proxy: Woman returns ‘mentally deranged’ husband’s dowry for being deceived into wedlock

Uba Group

BY AGNES NWORIE, ABAKALIKI

In a bid to extricate herself from the embarrassing situation in her marriage, an angry woman who gave her name simply as Ngozi has reportedly returned her estranged husband’s dowry to the local government treasury.

Ngozi (not real name), a native of Ngbo in Ohaukwu Local Government Area of Ebonyi State, explained that she returned the N30,000 dowry that her husband-by-proxy paid to her family when she discovered that she was being lured into marriage.

According to her, the man who sought her hand in marriage was not the one who eventually showed up as her husband after sealing the social contract.

Ngozi, a nurse, alleged that she was railroaded into marriage in an orthodox church in Ngbo community two weeks after her wedding rites were performed.

According to the embattled lady, her in-laws had deceptively presented one of their healthy sons to her as her supposed husband only for another man to show up after the nuptial knots had been tied.

She lamented that she became suspicious when, for one full year, her husband failed to perform his conjugal responsibilities with her. She said that they were always embroiled in fisticuffs whenever she made advances at the man to whom she lawfully got wedded until the truth became known to her.

She said she later discovered that the man whom she was deceived to marry was epileptic and mentally challenged. She said that she got very disappointed when the truth was blown out. She alleged that she became distressed when she discovered that the man whom she was deceived to marry was also impotent.

Ngozi said she decided to quit the marriage as a result of her husband’s state of health and due to the deception by his family. She alleged that her in-laws did not show any remorse when the fact blew open. She added that three years after returning to her parents’ home, her in-laws failed to come for peaceful resolution.

Recalling her ordeal, she said, “I had a baby boy before the family came to marry me. They deceitfully presented my husband’s brother to marry me. After the traditional marriage, my husband and I moved to his parents’ house. It was then that I got to know that his brother was actually my husband.

“I discovered that the man that they arranged for me to marry is mentally ill, epileptic and impotent. He was not talking. He usually attacked me with cutlass at night. He nearly killed me one night while sleeping as he tried to strangle me. I have spent three years in my father’s house without any information from them so I decided to free myself from the marriage.

“One day, he nearly killed me while trying to arouse him to perform his conjugal responsibility. I fainted as he was beating me. I want his family to have their dowry back from my parents.”

Ngozi’s siblings, speaking under the condition of anonymity, said, “Indeed, the family confirmed to us that the man was sick but they said that the situation was not so bad. But the man is insane; he had attempted to kill her. For three years since she returned to us, the family never deemed it necessary to come for her or ask for settlement. We want the court to wade into the matter.

“There is no need giving them another chance. They deceived our daughter and the entire family. The man in question was just brought to our compound once. That day, he was on bike and we greeted but he didn’t come down from the bike in order for us not to notice. Subsequently, his brother was always coming to represent his interest with a lie that the suitor would take our daughter abroad.”

The man who spoke on behalf of the woman’s in-laws, under the condition of anonymity, said, “On the day she left home, I went for a burial ceremony. My brother is sick. And we looked for a wife for him; with the help of our in-law, we found her. We told her that the man was sick and she agreed. My elder brother (the husband) visited them several times before the marriage. The vow was till death do them part.”

The Chairman of the Ebonyi State Family Law Center, Mrs Elizabeth Nwali, said, “Since the woman has said that she will not continue with the marriage, sequel to the deceit, constant beating and the man’s state of health, which defied medical attention; we cannot force her.”

However, she said, “We have no competent jurisdiction to dissolve marriages. She can go to the welfare office in their local government area and pay in the rejected dowry/bride price into the government treasury and then move on with her life.”

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