Some have heads but no caps (1)


About a month ago, when I read the story of a man, who said that marriage was a curse for him in your paper, I couldn’t but tell myself that this man could be a male version of me. I’m just in my early 40s, but I would tell anyone who cares to listen that I have gone through ordeals greater than what a 60-year-old could bear.

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I set out in life to pamper any lucky husband that came my way with my wealth (which I was sure I would acquire with hard work) and undiluted love. Initially, I was afraid that having a child might pose a problem as a result of some weird dreams I used to have as a child. But with time, I got over this feeling and decided to take each day at a time.

The first man that came my way was a Muslim, but we were very close. We met just after my Senior Secondary School Examination, when I was still awaiting the result of my Joint Admission Matriculation Board exam. Everyone knew me to be a ‘book worm’, who would not have anything to do with the opposite sex. But my first boyfriend, apart from being handsome, was a very intelligent guy that anyone would want to associate with.

The only snag at the time was that I was from a very strong Christian background. But this did not affect our relationship as he promised to change over to Christianity so long as I could convince him that my religion was superior. Though we never indulged in sex, we became inseparable, mainly because we had the same passion for excellence. Soon, he started going with me to my church on Sundays and also gave himself a Christian name.

He was always showing off to his friends that he had a very brilliant girlfriend and would follow me to campus whenever our results were out with his friends to drive home that point. I was of immense help to him, especially when his mother could not do much in terms of his education. His dad, though comfortable when he was alive, had two other wives, and this created a gap in the family.

At the end of his first degree, also my own final year in school, I gave the whole situation a deeper thought and felt that, though I had committed a lot to the relationship, I could not go ahead because of certain reasons that had to do more with religion and,

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