BY AGNES NWORIE, ABAKALIKI
Relatives of five dead men from Ndieze Sharon, Ndieborishiagu and Igbeagu communities in Izzi Local Government Area of Ebonyi State, are currently jostling to marry a dead woman for their deceased brothers.
Marrying for the dead is a traditional practice of adopting a child for a deceased family member who had no child while alive.
The five families that are seeking to adopt children for their dead relatives are currently trying to woo the family of Fidelia Nwankwo, a native of Ndieborishiagu, mother-of-two who passed on recently.
The Point gathered that Nwankwo, a single mother, who had two boys, died barely four months ago following a protracted illness.
It was learnt that the family members of the dead woman were thrown into confusion on whose dowry to collect. Our correspondent gathered that each of the families in question had rendered financial assistance to the deceased at different times before she eventually died.
A resident of the area, Valentine Ezeh, said that marrying for the dead is a traditional method of child adoption in Izzi and Umuekumaenyi clans in the state.
According to Ezeh, the living relatives of a man who died in the community without having children bear the responsibility by seeking for and paying the dowry of a woman, dead or alive, to her relatives to enable them adopt her children. This, he said, would afford the dead the opportunity to continue his lineage.
Ezeh said, “This applies especially when the woman has children out of wedlock or declares her readiness to raise children for the dead through other men. The traditional adoption method is also considered necessary for children born by single but dead ladies to curb stigmatization.”
Jeremiah Nwofoke, whose younger brother, a bachelor, died in an auto crash in 2017, said that the family planned to pay dowry to Nwankwo’s family so as to enable them take over the custody of her sons.
The Commissioner for Culture and Tourism in Ebonyi State, Elizabeth Ogbaga, said that the culture, among other benefits, guarantees proper upbringing of children who were delivered outside wedlock and helps to reduce crime in the society. It also helps in solving problem of fear of extinction of lineages of dead men.
“Being a Christian is not a reason to discard beneficial cultures and traditions. One thing that I like most in Izzi culture of adoption is that it takes care of children who would ordinarily have been stigmatized as bastards. This confers legitimacy on children who were born outside wedlock. The wealth (land, buildings, cash crops, economic trees) left by the man is always willed to them without any interference. The would-have-been bastards are taken off the streets through the unique method of adoption. “The culture helps to reduce rates of crimes in the society. If the children are on the streets, you and I know that they would engage in both legitimate and illegitimate means to make ends meet. Many of them would end up becoming nuisances to the society.
But, with the adoption, they would have a root. Everybody in the extended family of the dead man would be responsible for their welfare.
“In a case where the children’s mother is still living, she can give birth to more children for the dead man through other men. That is the aspect that I don’t like because it encourages illicit sex and can expose her to sexually transmitted diseases. I always preach that if the mother of the adopted children is alive, she should remarry to a living man.
“When the woman is alive, that kind of adoption must be done in accordance to her approval if the biological father of such children is not interested in paying her dowry. In Izzi culture, when a man impregnates a woman without performing the traditional marriage rites which climax in payment of agreed amount of cash and kind as dowry, such a man is seen and referred to as a sperm donor.
“The children become children of a dead man when his relatives perform the full marriage rites by paying the dowry of the woman, whether dead or alive. The woman, if alive, is free to remarry if she is a Christian, young and not interested in remaining without a husband.
“On the other hand, a childless woman can also pay dowry of another woman who had children outside wedlock, whether dead or alive and adopt her children. This traditional adoption method is cheaper and easier because in the communities, we know ourselves.”
But, it requires proper investigations and consultations to avoid problems in future.
“Another part to the traditional adoption is that a man who is alive can agree with the family of a woman that he intends to marry to adopt the children who she had illegitimately as a teenager. This can be done if their biological father is not known or he is not interested in owning the children.
“The young man and the in-laws will engage in investigations before the adoption and after the marriage, she will start having children for her husband. In that situation, no one has the rights to discriminate against the adopted children because with the rites performed, they have equal rights as the man’s biologically children.
“I advocate that people should uphold all the good and beneficial cultures and traditions and amend the fetish, irrelevant and negative parts.”
