Through their tourism-oriented television programme, Isaac and Nneka Moses have created a large base of followership. But beyond the TV show, as a couple, they have become role models for other married people. The love-struck couple shares the secrets of their love life with WOLE ADEPOJU. Excerpts:
What informed the idea of Goge Africa, because it could be called first of its kind when it debuted?
Isaac: The fact is that I love Africa, I love Nigeria and I know Nigeria has more potential than it’s seen out there. And I said to myself, ‘Why don’t you do something that will project Africa, something that will project African music, project African tourism, and African culture.’ How do we capture this essence in a programme that lasts 25 minutes? So, we came up with Goge Africa, when nobody even understood what we were doing or the essence of what we were doing. But we believed in it and had faith that if the public captured the way we were picking it, people would begin to look in that direction and I like to say that, right now, a lot of designers are clothing us, they are beginning to get pride of place. We now promote them; a lot of festivals now get corporate sponsorship through our efforts. We now have global brands like MTN supporting festivals, Globacom and a lot of others, even banks. Take for example, the Calabar Carnival. It’s beginning to have so much sponsorship that can make it sustain itself on its own. Look at the Osun Oshogbo, Ojude Oba, Ofala in Onitsha.
Whose idea really is Goge Africa?
Nneka: Let me say it. He’s (Referring to her husband) going to be partial. If you want to draw a straight line or whatever you want to write, it begins with a dot. When you hold your pen, the first you do is a dot before you move to whatever direction. The thing is that he put the first dot of Goge by saying he wants to starts a music programme on radio. He just wanted to play African music, promote African artistes, interview them, showcase them and I came with the angle of, why don’t you do it on TV, where I can showcase my clothes. I will clothe you while you do your presentation and all that, and he said ‘if I have to go on TV, you have to be there with me. You will wear the female version of what you make and I wear the male version.’ So, it actually started with him. It’s his dream to promote Africa; then I bought into the dream and he carried me along.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of a couple involved in the same trade?
Isaac: I’m going to say how it affects me. I don’t know about other people, but I’m going to be personal here. For me, it’s very positive in the sense that, for instance, if we decide to do a presentation on a spot, I don’t have to say, ‘Oh! The other presenter is not available.’ Between she and I, we can decide to do what to do, where to do without having to consult another person. Two, when we are out of the country or on location, I know that with Nneka around, the things I forget, she remembers. if we’re going to be staying two weeks somewhere, she could take along little dry fish, Okro and so on, so that we eat okro or something like once or so before we come back. She takes care of little details that I ordinarily would not remember. And with our son involved, it makes it easier. She’s there, he’s there, he’s not going to miss his mum and I’m there. It’s all compact. I know some people would say I cannot work with my spouse, it’s going to bring a lot of conflicts. But to me, I see it as an advantage; I don’t have to worry so much. Things I can’t take care of, she will take care of.
From what your husband has said, it’s like the business and family are interwoven. What can you say?
Nneka: it’s much interwoven, that’s true. As you said, every good thing has a bad side. For people that have got pride, it may not work. For us, at least, the way it works for me. Regardless of how much I appear on TV and some female and male that may like me, perhaps adore me, primarily I’m his wife. In the office, I know how to address him. I call him CEO here, to the staff and they call him the same thing and when it’s about 6pm that we go home, I can call him his pet name. That is us. I give him his due respect as my boss. Each time he takes a decision, I don’t like, I come around almost like the way I do it at home. I’m like why don’t we postpone this shoot because of XYZ and my husband is this person that if you give him your reason without being arrogant or trying to prove a point, he’s so easy going. So, it’s a relationship that has got a lot of mutual respect and he does not talk down on me; neither can I think of doing that to him. For us, it works, but for someone, who is filled with ego, it just would not work. Also, openness is very key. We are open to each other. Goge Africa pays him salary, it pays me salary. So, what I do with my salary, every penny, he
knows.
What attracted you to your wife in the first place?
Isaac: A guy who is about town, first thing that attracts you in a woman, her looks. When that draws you nearer and you are talking, then you know and say, she’s is intelligent, she’s my kind of woman. So, she’s brain and brawn. That’s what attracted me and that’s why we are together up till now.
Do you go around with him always?
Nneka: No. I cannot always be around him. Basically, most of the time, we are together, but when we can’t help it, we stay apart. To create our own fun, I know he likes me being with him and when he asks me to come with him, I say how much are you paying? We bargain and he actually pays and I still use his money for the family. I don’t feel insecure when people come around him because the most important thing is I know who I married, I trust him a lot and it’s not by my doing. When God says yes, nobody can say no. So, whether I like it or not, if he’s my husband, he’s my husband. I don’t believe it’s my character or my intelligence or my looks that is keeping him with me. What I know is that, it’s just divine. It’s by the grace of God.
How were you able to handle the family and societal pressure when your wife was waiting on the Lord for the fruit of the womb?
Isaac: You see, over time, you get mature. If you are somebody who has the kind of exposure that I have, you would know that it’s not about the children. First, you have what you call companionship. If children were the essence of marriage, then, we really don’t need to get married. I have friends who have up to six children from different women; yet, they are not married. If children were the main essence of marriage, if you don’t have a child, perhaps, you divorce your woman to marry another and if in another two years she has not delivered, you divorce her and marry another and so if the child does not come, we have even seen people who lost like four children in a day. If you have three, four children and when they are grown, they get married, they go to live on their own or go abroad and its now the father and mother left at home. So, it’s first about companionship. Any marriage that is based outside of likeness, love, companionship, the marriage will not last. If the primary objective is not children, children will be like added benefit, added blessing, just like money.
What is your take on joint bank account and do you practise it?
Nneka-There are no hard and fast rules about relationship. So, if it works for you, do it. We do it because it works for us.
Isaac: One of the serious reasons why family breaks up is lack of trust. When you have a joint account, the woman will not ask for the money she knows you don’t have. Why there is always problem is that a woman is asking for money because she is not sure if the man does not have it. Why would she ask if she knows he does not have and he trusts him? When the wife does not trust the husband, that’s when she begins to think he has money, but he’s not giving her attention or he does not want to give her. But if there is trust, those kinds of things will not be issues.
Do you influence what your husband wears?
Nneka: Oh! Yes, I have influence on what my husband puts on because my husband is the kind of a guy that will come to the wardrobe, he can close his eyes and whatever he touches is what he wears. So, sometimes, I play the trick that I want him to wear this Safari suit and I put it in the front and what he sees first is what he picks. In that regard, he does not care. I care more.
What excites you most about your wife?
Isaac: Hmmm….. So many things. What excites me most? So many things exciteww me about my wife, but when you say most, I can’t even put my finger on which I will call most, but so many things about her excite me.
What about you, madam?
Nneka: So many things about him excite me. You know what? Before I will answer, let him mention three, since they are
plenty.
Isaac: Okay…how we agree. For example, when we are shooting and she says let’s remove this, she explains and that is it. The food, when she’s cooking, I get the kind of excitement I get when I’m coming back from church on Sunday and my mum is in the house, I can perceive the aroma of the stew everywhere. So, it’s worth waiting around for when she says she wants to cook. Those are the two I can think of now, they
are many.
Nneka: For me, the most exciting thing about him is that he wants me to be happy and he sacrifices a lot to make sure I’m happy. He’s easily agreeable. He’s a human being to the core. He considers other people before himself. If he promises to do something for someone and he does not have the means to accomplish it, you see him killing himself and I enjoy that most because I’m the closest person to him.
